tell your sister to shave her snatch
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think i got beer on your cat.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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