I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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