There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
