nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
