Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
