my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize