didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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