someone get that fucking seahorse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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