Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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(914): View more from New York

And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(770): View more from Georgia

The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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(210): View more from Texas

He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now

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(914): View more from New York

The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???

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