She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there was a trapeze. enough said
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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