All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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