Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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