So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
