I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
