when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
