his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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