I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
