The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
