Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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