i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
