vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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