i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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