Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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