i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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