Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I faked an abortion last night.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
