drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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