$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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