My balls are so social today.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
