oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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