Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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