never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
