We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
