Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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