Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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