I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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