I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my poor anus
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
