Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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