I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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