I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
