Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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