Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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