I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
