piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
