I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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