It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
