There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
