So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize