so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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