There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
