I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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