so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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