just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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