the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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