if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
