We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
