I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
