He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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