He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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