stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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